I dream Rock and Roll

At 6.28 this morning, I promised myself
productivity.

By 8.28, I knew that once again
I lied
to myself.

It's a tricky business, promising yourself things.


I find that instead,
I am showered and ready for the day,
but curled up
under the blankets

missing things.



Oh, if only life could be simple...

(is that really what I want after all?)




{probably not.}

there are more than a thousand steps to the top

I am surrounded by mountains like metaphors.

Each one with a different meaning
different challenges
different stairs
resting points
and peaks.

I just don't know if I have enough time for all
of these mountains.

The decision has been made, was made, will be made...and I shouldn't change it afterall.

I'm feeling fickle lately

and my wandering
wandering
wandering
mind

isn't going to the places
I want it to go.

Instead,
it meanders further down
stream.

Alas.

This must be stopped.

Soliloquy on the dangers and benefits of loneliness

When more words are needed, there are often times fewer things to be said.

An ending of one thing.

How does death feel to a tree?

Things are slow
slow
slowing.

Ever have that feeling of contentment balled up in the pit of your stomach?

That's how I felt today.
And it wasn't the way I expected to feel.
Sometimes I'm eternally thankful for the unexpected.


This weekend bruised relationships with old friends were mended
and I suddenly found myself completely and effortlessly forgiving
a person I thought I might
never forgive in my lifetime.
He'll never know.


My eyes are tired and my heart is full.

Thanks.

Prophesy

“..we hurry, with the greatest possible speed and noise and violence, through our recreation- for what? To eat the billionth hamburger at some fast-food joint hell-bent on increasing the “quality” of our life?”
- Wendell Berry

There was a flash of brown feathers
as the house sparrow above me
built her nest in the bottom swoop
of a red lowercase e
glowing on the orange brink storefront.

The glass doors part for my arrival
and I enter, bathed in the unholy
yellow buzz of fluorescent lights,
the oppressive glare of neon packaging.
I wander the field of shining red plastics,
shrink-wrapped flesh, and dried tropical fruit.
Electronic crickets and soulless birdcalls are piped
from speakers, the sign advertising the sounds of nature
for sale.

Outside the trees grow strong, their branches held loud
in prayer to St. Giles, their
ambitious roots
making waves in the paved sidewalk,
the only outward sign of struggle.

"How satisfying it is to leave a mark on a blank surface, to make a map of my movement--no matter how temporary." -Craig Thompson

I have never wanted

so badly

to run up and down
the hallway
SCREAMING

FIRE FIRE
APOSTROPHE
ALASKA
SOUP

!!


I'm feeling all
lopsided,
balanced to the brim with
bottled up anticipation,
jittery toed, blue sky smiling,
like a sunshine colored fish in a blue tinted bowl


and maybe
a little more
incandescent
that I usually allow.



You'd think it was love,
and let me tell you,
maybe I wish
it was too,

More than likely,

I'm feeling intoxicatingly trapped in a place
that I both loathe and love.